INFJ

对INFJ类型的人来说，最重要的是能忠实于自己的预见。在恬静的外表下，他们对人生重要大事有着更深的信仰。积极分子们（INFJ人有这种倾向）不是为了个人的辉煌或政治权利而工作，而是为了自己的事业而战！

没有谁会比他们经历更多的压迫和蹂躏。在紧急事件的发生现场经常能看到他们奔走急救的身影。INFJ人身上正体现了一种"诗节正义"的观念。

INFJ人是不容易受人牵制的，他们在任何时候都不易被愚弄欺骗。虽然INFJ人很通情达理，并富有同情心，但是他们对朋友却是很挑剔的，这种友谊是以相互间的利益为基础的。

INFJ人对语言的熟练表达和交际的才能有自己的诀窍，再加上INFJ人的那种无需过多言语表达的敏感性使得他们能与人们很好的交往。当然，在写作，咨询，公共关系甚至政治领域都有INFJ人的一席之地。

灵性特质的作家型（INFJ）

若你是一个作家型

文字对你而言是神圣的，通过文字，你可以了解并且表达生命的神秘。当不写作时，你是在体验你的另一项聆听天赋，去安慰和帮助那些来向你寻求建议和指引的人。

当你恋爱时

至于跟心灵相关的事情，你偏向用白纸黑字表达自己。举凡诗歌、日记和贴在浴室镜子上的温柔留言，都是你最喜欢用来表示爱意和奉献的方式。

作为一个作家型(这种类型仅占人口的2%)，你倾向为情人贡献大部分的时间和精力。事实上，你只要你的情人作为你惟一的伴侣—也就是你最要好和惟一的朋友，就颇满足了。

很不幸的是，这种要一个人成为你惟一情感支柱的妄想会让你心碎。你也许会决定避开所有的人，只为了要和你的情人在一起，事后却可能发现，对方不是一个适合你的人。当时，你可能只是自欺欺人地拖延了一段不被看好的感情，让自己去相信对方是适合你的人。

你的最佳恋爱类型

若你是一个女性作家型

比较起男性作家型，你拥有较广泛的择偶范围，可以和男性作家型、学者型(INTP)或是哲学家型(INFP)处得很好。

你甚至可以跟挑战者型(ESTP)相处得不错，他是那种会给你一段轰轰烈烈感情的男人。

若你是一个男性作家型

作为一个内向型的男性，通常可以和内向型的女性发展一段没有压力的感情关系；因此，作家型或是哲学家型(INFP)都相当适合你。若你希望有一个随兴的伴侣来平衡你规律的生活，哲学家型的女性会是一个很棒的配偶。

若你的理想情人是一个作家型

在哪里可以遇到一个作家型情人？

作家型属于深居简出的类型，要找到他们也许很困难，因为这些人经常享受一个人在家中阅读、写作、思考、祈祷、冥想或听音乐。

以下这些地点是可以遇见作家型的场合，包括：教堂、犹太教教会或其他宗教组织。虽然任何一种恋爱类型都有可能参加宗教或心灵活动，作家型尤其以他们的灵性特质著称(虽然就传统观念而言，不一定是指宗教)。

尝试在宗教或人道主义团体中，找寻正在为人类福祉工作的作家型。另外，也可以在自我成长或心灵发现研习会(瑜伽和玄学冥想是他们的最爱)、隐居所和博览会中发现他们。

跟哲学家型一样，作家型也喜欢到博物馆、艺术廊和剧院。博物馆里头的咖啡厅是一个遇见他们的好地方，你可以在那里发现他们一手捧着书本，一手拿着三明治。

既然作家型如此酷爱阅读，你当然会在书店，或者是公共图书馆遇见他们。

琼在一个保守的基督教家庭长大，是一个25岁的文学编辑，她不是那种会积极主动接近男人或上夜总会的女孩子，也不是那种过度*型。但她很爱阅读。

于是当琼发现她的理想恋爱类型—作家型—对书本和阅读也有狂热时，她花了很多时间在当地的图书馆内，并且和里头的图书馆员聊天。

过去数周内她看上了史蒂文，一个30岁的图书管理科学系毕业的研究生。在几次简短的对话中，琼发现他是一个作家型；她很确定在他迷人的笑容背后有一些深沉的内涵。

某天琼带了一本关于印度哲学的书，并询问史蒂文图书馆内是否还有相关的书籍。史蒂文把相关主题的书籍展示给她看，并且邀请她和他一起参加一场就在那周开始的图书馆系列演讲。

虽然演讲并不如他们期待的精彩，他们后来却共度了一段很愉快的时光。一边大口嚼着寿司，一边聊天至天明。他们现在固定约会，同时以平稳的速度往浪漫的未来前进。

如何与一个作家型情人约会？

由于作家型在一开始的时候并不太健谈，你很有可能必须采取主动的态度展开一段对话。因为他们通常会对心理学和哲学感兴趣，所以大可从这些主题下手。

尽管猜错了，别担心，通常作家型伴侣有足够的知认以填补对话中的空隙，同时也会欣赏你对于形而上事物的好奇心。

一旦刺激到作家型伴侣对超自然的胃口，他会让谈话继续下去。在你还没意识到之前，你已经和这个作家型的人展开一场关于心理学的演讲。

*约会锦囊：迎合对方阅读的狂热。

你可以从书架上借某本书给这个作家型伴侣，尤其是一些关于心理学或人际关系领域的书。所以就必须与你的作家型伴侣约在某处见面好把书拿给他，也可以安排共进晚餐再把书交给他。不要怀疑，这就是你成功的第一次约会。

如何赢得作家型情人的爱？

若你感觉到你的作家型情人是一个极度内向者，也许可以安排一些节目，来迎合他对孤独的需求。试试看安静地待在家中，把晚餐叫到家里，放点轻柔的音乐和一部他最爱的影片。

或是说你觉得他是比较外向的，你也可以建议去参加一些读诗会，或是关于心理学和哲学的演讲。之后带领他赴一个轻松、亲密的晚餐，然后是一段长长的、浪漫的散步。

*恋爱锦囊：给作家型情人一个有计划的约会。

因为作家型重视规律，一个聪明的策略是告诉他们每次约会的时程和地点。作家型是直觉的，他们会带着你给他们的计划不断想像即将拥有的快乐。如此将可以享受到双重的快乐：第一次是当他把约会视觉化，第二次是当他真的跟你赴约时。

当他们开始约会时，费南多会将一份约会的行程计划—详细到他将会送花给她和给她一个亲吻的时间—传真给卡门，一个作家型。一开始时费南多觉得这种做法很愚蠢，但是他很清楚一个作家型是多么重视日程和计划。

出乎他的意料，这个策略奏效了：女友卡门在约会进行中变得异常的温柔。她会在她有空的时间内仔细研读那份日程表，并且一面幻想当她的白马王子来临时她会有怎样的感受。

现在，经过7个月的交往后，不管去哪里或做什么；他们总是高高兴兴地结束约会，同时他们的关系一直持续上升。

如何和作家型情人拥有美好的性关系？

作家型属于温柔的情人，他们喜欢情人的爱抚、拥抱和爱的手势。和哲学家型的人一样，他们必须知道自己处在一份特别的、有意义的感情下，才可以*—没有爱情的、没有灵魂的性并不能吸引作家型。

和大部分的追求意义者一样，作家型的*需要依靠想像和梦幻所刺激。他们较端庄和羞涩，但这会导致他们无法完全发挥他们火山般的热情。

**锦囊：来一段感官之旅。

为了刺激你的爱人栩栩如生的感官想像力，利用作家型最喜欢的媒介：写作。

要求你的作家型情人为你创造一个*的故事—写下他可以想像到最刺激且最香艳的情境。

接下来，要你的作家型情人吟诵那个故事，当这个*画面出现时，你会发现自己的欲望正被*起来，紧接着你们两人就会忘情地投入爱河。

如何和作家型情人维持一段长久的关系？

在追求意义者这类恋爱类型当中，作家型倾向拥有最长的婚姻关系：一旦一个作家型对你许下一个婚姻的誓言，他极有可能会坚持一辈子。

作家型也很有可能是内心最热情的一种恋爱类型。虽然一个作家型情人也许不会常常跟你沟通他最深层的感受，但可以放心的是，他们会一直在那里。

另外要注意的是：由于作家型爱得如此地深挚，感觉起来他们也许会是占有欲强且善妒的，但他们的想法并不是如此。反之，作家型之所以会有如此强烈的情绪反应，是因为他们相信真爱必须是诚实的共享并且无所保留的。

这是爱：作家型风格

格雷和希拉里是如此的酷似对方。他们两人都是作家型，都是心理学的研究生，同时渴望遇到他们的灵魂伴侣。他们已经观察对方好几个星期了。希拉里喜欢格雷善感的棕色眼睛，而格雷则被希拉里甜美的模样深深迷惑。

但有一个障碍：这两个人都太害羞了，没有人敢踏出第一步。事实上，要不是格雷在当地的报纸上刊登了一则个人广告，他们永远都不会联络彼此。当希拉里看到那则个人广告时，她立刻就回应它，那广告是这样的：

内省的(内向的)，富想像力的(直觉的)，敏感的(感觉的)29岁心理学研究生，拥有规律的生活习惯(果断者)，希望寻找女性伴侣，25岁至35岁，拥有相同的人格特质，为了一段心灵契合的关系。

在格雷和希拉里碰面后，发现到他们两人拥有这么多相同之处，但一直不敢与对方约会，都欣然大笑。

很幸运地格雷和希拉里终于可以和彼此联系上，他们现在发展着一段持久的关系。但这一切本来是不会发生的。

我给大家的箴言是：别等到你已成为最佳的恋爱类型系统专家，才开始去接近你一直很想认识的迷人对象。只需要先学会基本的部分，就可以有信心向前迈进。

The Protector

As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.

INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.

But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.

INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.

In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.

The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.

What does Success mean to an INFJ?

People with the INFJ personality type are intense and perfectionistic. They have deep insights into many aspects of life, and usually have very high standards for their own understanding and accomplishments, as well as those of others. They are service-oriented and empathetic to other individuals. The INFJ strives for the ideal in every aspect of their life. An INFJ's feeling of success is centered around their own level of understanding and accomplishment, their usefulness or service to others, and the condition of their personal relationships. The INFJ feels successful when they have used their very deep understanding of something to do a real service for someone. We often see INFJ personality types as counsellors and teachers, or in the medical and health fields.

Allowing Your INFJ Strengths to Flourish

As an INFJ, you have gifts that are specific to your personality type that aren't natural strengths for other types. By recognizing your special gifts and encouraging their growth and development, you will more readily see your place in the world, and be more content with your role.

Potential Problem Areas

With any gift of strength, there is an associated weakness. Without "bad", there would be no "good". Without "difficult", there would be no "easy". We value our strengths, but we often curse and ignore our weaknesses. To grow as a person and get what we want out of life, we must not only capitalize upon our strengths, but also face our weaknesses and deal with them. That means taking a hard look at our personality type's potential problem areas.

INFJs are rare and intelligent people with many special gifts. This should be kept in mind as you read some of the more negative material about INFJ weaknesses. Remember that these weaknesses are natural. We offer this information to enact positive change, rather than as blatant criticism. We want you to grow into your full potential, and be the happiest and most successful person that you can become.

Most of the weaker characteristics that are found in INFJs are due to their dominant function (Introverted iNtuition) overtaking their personality to the point that the other forces in their personality exist merely to serve the purposes of Introverted iNtuition. In such cases, an INFJ may show some or all of the following weaknesses in varying degrees:

Explanation of Problems

Most of the problems described above are a result of Introverted iNtuition overtaking the INFJ's personality to the point that all of the other functions become slaves to Introverted iNtuition. A healthy personality needs to have a good balance between its dominant and auxiliary functions. For an INFJ, the dominant Introverted iNtuition needs to be well-supported by the auxiliary Extraverted Feeling function. If Extraverted Feeling exists only to support the desires of Introverted iNtuition, then neither function is being used to its potential.

Introverted iNtuition is a personality function that constantly gathers information, and sees everything from many different perspectives. As the dominant player in a personality, it has the effect of constantly bombarding the psyche with new information to consider. Introverted iNtuition is sort of like a framework for understanding that exists in the mind. As something is perceived, it is melded into the existing intuitive framework. If an entirely new piece of information is perceived by the Introverted iNtuitive, that person must redefine their entire framework of reference. So, Introverted iNtuitives are constantly taking in information about the world that needs to be processed in a relatively lengthy manner in order to be understood. That presents quite a challenge to the INFJ. It's not unusual for an INFJ to feel overwhelmed with all of the things that he or she needs to consider in order to fully understand an idea or situation.

When Introverted iNtuition dominates the INFJ such that the other functions cannot serve their own purposes, we find the INFJ cutting off information that it needs to consider. If the psyche is presented with information that looks anything like something that Introverted iNtuition has processed in the past, it uses Extraverted Feeling to quickly reject that information. The psyche uses Extraverted Feeling to reject the ideas, rather than taking the information into its intuitive framework, and therefore potentially causing that framework to be reshaped and redefined.

Using Extraverted Feeling in this manner may effectively serve the immediate needs of Introverted iNtuition, but it is not ideal. It causes the INFJ to not consider information that may be useful or criticial in developing a real understanding of an issue. It may cause the INFJ to come off as too strongly opinionated or snobbish to others.

The better use of Extraverted Feeling for an INFJ would be to use it to assess the INFJ's rich insights and weigh them against the external world. When the INFJ personality uses Extraverted Feeling to cut off incoming information, rather than to judge internal intuitions, it is effectively cheating itself. It's like getting the answers to a test without having to really understand the questions. It's easier to get the answer right away, rather than to have to figure everything out. For the INFJ, who has a tremendous amount of information and "studying" that needs to be done, it's very tempting to take shortcuts. Most INFJs will do this to some extent. The real problems occur when an INFJ personality has become so imbalanced that its owner is extremely self-important and rarely consider anyone else's opinions or ideas.

Solutions

To grow as an individual, the INFJ needs to focus on applying their judgment to things only after they have gone through their intuition. In other words, the INFJ needs to consciously try not to use their judgment to dismiss ideas prematurely. Rather, they should use their judgment against their own ideas. One cannot effectively judge something that they don't understand. The INFJ needs to take things entirely into their intuition in order to understand them. It may be neccesary to give your intuition enough time to work through the new information so that it can rebuild its global framework of understanding. INFJs need to focus on using their judgment not to dismiss ideas, but rather to support their intuitive framework.

An INFJ who is concerned with personal growth will pay close attention to the subject of their judgments, and their motivation for making judgments. Are they judging something external to themself, or are they judging something that they have sifted through their intuition? Is the motivation for judging something to be able to understand its usefulness in the world, or to dismiss it? Too often, an INFJ will judge something without properly understanding it, and with the intention of dismissing it. Seek first to understand, then to judge.

Living Happily in our World as an INFJ

Some INFJs have difficulty fitting into our society. Their problems are generally associated with not knowing (or caring) how they come across to others, and with having unreasonable expectations for others' behaviors. Both of these issues stem from using Extraverted Feeling primarily to dismiss external ideas, rather than to sort through their own intuitions.

An INFJ who uses Extraverted Feeling in this diminished manner may become so strongly opinionated that they form rigid and unreasonable expectations for others. They may feel so strongly about things that they become very passionate and agitated when they feel that something has gone wrong. In these cases, it's not uncommon for the INFJ to express their displeasure with biting sarcasm. They become so emotionally upset that they are generally not aware of how their behavior comes across to others. Even if the consequences of their attitude and behavior is pointed out to them, they may be agitated to the point that they don't care. This kind of situation can be devastating to the INFJ on many levels, and should be avoided. There isn't much that can be done once the INFJ has reached the point where they are too upset to care about others, but the INFJ can prevent this problem from occuring by ensuring that they never get to that point.

How can you, as an INFJ, ensure that you won't get that upset? It probably seems to you that these kinds of upsets are caused by external circumstances and situations. Well, that's not really true. It's true that things will happen over which you have no control. But you certainly have control over how you perceive these things, or more appropriately, how you *judge* these things.

Specific suggestions:

• Take care to listen to someone's idea entirely before you pass judgment on it. Ask questions if neccesary. Do whatever it takes to make sure that you understand the idea. Try not to begin judging anything about the idea until you have understood it entirely.
• Before you begin talking to another person, pause for a moment and look at that person. Take in that person's attitude and feelings at that moment. Be aware of the person with whom you're speaking.
• If you become upset, walk away immediately. DO NOT express anger. When you get angry, you lose. After you have calmed down, apologize for leaving and continue with what you were doing.
• Try to identify the personality type of everyone that you encounter frequently in your life. Remember that people with the Sensing preference need to be communicated with in a direct, concise manner. Speak plainly and simply with Sensors, giving "yes" or "no" answers.
• Try to be on good terms with all people, even those that you consider beneath you. Try to understand that everybody has something to offer.

Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INFJ Success

1. Feed Your Strengths! Do things that allow your brilliant intuition and service-oriented manner to flourish.
2. Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, strive to use your judgment against your internal ideas and intuitions, rather than as a means of disregarding other people's ideas.
3. Talk Through Your Thoughts. You need to step through your intuitions in order to put them into perspective. Give yourself time to do this, and take advantage of discussing ideas with others. You'll find externalizing your internal intuitions to be a valuable exercise.
4. Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you don't respect the person generating the ideas, or because you think you already know it all. After all, everybody has something to offer, and nobody knows everything. Steven Covey says it so well when he says: "Seek first to understand, and then to be understood."
5. When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion and intensity are strong assets, but can be very harmful if you allow yourself to fall into the "Anger Trap". Remember that Anger is destructive to your personal relationships. Work through your anger before you impress it upon others, or you will likely find yourself alone. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.
6. Keep Your Eye on the Big Picture Watch out for your tendency to become obsessed with details. If you find yourself feeling very, very strongly about a small detail, take a big step back and make sure that you can still see the goal. You're not going to get there if you get mired in the details.
7. Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions. No one has more control over your life than you have.
8. Be Humble. Judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.
9. Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself and others by dwelling on the dark side of everything. Just as there is a positive charge for every negative charge, there is a light side to every dark side. Remember that positive situations are created by positive attitudes. Expect the best, and the best will come forward.
10. Relax! Do yourself a favor and learn how to effectively unwind. Get exercise and restful sleep. Take vacations. Engage in relaxing activities. Take care of yourself and your loved ones by learning to let go of your passion and intensity for a respite.