ESTJ

对ESTJ类型的人来说，最重要的是做对事情，把握好事情的发展。ESTJ人做事讲究顺序和连续性。与他们外向的性格相一致的是，他们热心于对人的组织，即对人的监督管理。虽然他们喜欢根据自己的理论和战术性的议程组织和动员人员，他们还是愿意遵守一些"规则"，诸如传统惯例和上级命令等。

ESTJ人是合群的。他们在俱乐部、文化团体、教堂和其他服务机构中寻找志同道合的人为伴。同所有其他SJ类型的人一样，他们也追求归属感。因此，家庭生活是ESTJ人极其关注的事，参加婚礼、葬礼以及家庭联欢会都是他们必不可少的活动。

对ESTJ人来说，传统很重要。假日、生日、节日都是他们铭记着并必定会隆重地庆祝的。ESTJ人喜欢追根溯源，将家产追溯到他们尊敬的祖宗，既表达了他们对家族的尊重，又找到了归属感。

提供服务------- 实质即为负责任的体现------- 是ESTJ人另一关注的事。他们喜欢提供和接受优质的服务。那些提供了可靠服务的ESTJ商人大大地提高了自己的形象。

ESTJ人推崇职业道德。他们认为工作中应努力取得权利、职位和声望。懒惰是不会为他们接受，更不会赞赏的。

ESTJ人坦率直言，有原则；只要他们认为是正确的，即使面对势不可挡的强势，他们也敢站出来说话。对ESTJ人来说，比较吸引人的职业包括有教学、银行业、政治官员以及各管理层。

卓越领导式的大男人型（ESTJ）

若你是一个大男人型

你在众人之间是一个卓越同时受尊重的个体，因为你能够在不引起众人骚动的状况下，把你心中的话表达出来。

当然，那些尊重你的人也许会觉得恐惧，因为他们看不到你温柔的一面：只为了值得的人才付出的忠诚，也就是你为了支持和保护你的朋友、家庭和国家所奉献的一切忠诚。

当你恋爱时

对你而言，爱情是一件必须严肃看待的付出过程。一旦你对对方付出一切，你就已经决定了要和那个人共度余生。

你也是那种喜欢控制生活中每件事情的人，包括爱情生活。你很有可能是那个负责计划大部分约会的人(除非你和一个同样强势的陆军元帅型或大男人型交往)，也是那个在婚后负责家事的人。

由于你习惯直接的方式，可能会无意间伤害了你伴侣的感受。这种状况尤其会发生在当你的伴侣是其中一个感觉型的恋爱类型时。

纵然如此，你并不认为你那直言不讳的语气是一段感情的障碍，你也无意要伤害对方。你只是以一种现实的方式和另一半交往，你希望打破那些繁文缛节，让双方可以共创一段成功感情、婚姻和家庭生活。

你的最佳恋爱类型

若你是一个女性大男人型

你可以在任何地方、任何时候认识男人，但很多男人似乎都被你的直接态度吓跑。不管到哪里，总是遇到那种容易受惊吓的男人，他们无法看穿你“强悍”外表下温柔的内在。

你最明智的选择是男性大男人型或是陆军元帅型(ENTJ)，只要他在直觉偏向上不会太强烈。若你的陆军元帅型是一个很强烈的直觉型，他也许会渐渐对你的务实面感到厌烦，而你最终有可能会因他疯狂的计划和设计抓狂。

你和这两种男人其中一种交往的优点是，你可以因此享受一个高水准的生活。他们两人都可能受过良好教育，同时正在往成功的路径快速前进。缺点是，你有可能和另一半彼此竞争或相互较劲。一场思想的角力战也许会被引爆，以决定你们当中哪个才是最有成就的。

若你是一个男性大男人型

女性公务员型(ISTJ)、主人型(ESFJ)、大男人型、专家型(INTJ)和陆军元帅型(ENTJ)都是你很好的恋爱类型伴侣。前三者可以帮你“筑巢”，建立你渴望的可靠家庭生活；后两者可以给你智慧和对生命中美好事物的体悟。

如果你选择陆军元帅型或是专家型，试着找一位不是特别强烈的直觉型。如果你的伴侣在直觉偏向上的得分很高，她会用她梦幻般的想法和无止境的梦想将你淹没；而你会觉得她怎么永远都那么不切实际？

若你的理想情人是一个大男人型

在哪里可以遇到一个大男人型情人？

你可以在酒吧、夜总会、运动会、运动场吧台、射击场、车展、健身俱乐部和户外活动中找到大男人型，比如登山、滑雪、露营、泛舟和爬山。要遇到勇敢的、喜爱大自然的大男人型，你可以去看看像Sierra Singles这种组织(在美国，这是一个为喜爱户外活动的单身者而设立的地区性组织)。

你也可以在商业组织，例如扶轮社、狮子会和相关俱乐部的领导阶层中遇到大男人型。他们通常会参与商业部门、保龄球俱乐部、啤酒协会和商业网等相关活动。

劳伦是一个39岁的旅行社代理，她希望和她的理想恋爱类型—男性大男人型有生意往来和爱情往来。为了达到这两个目的，她参加了当地商业公司的活动，而在不久前，她发现了理想男人杰瑞—一个45岁、帅气、红发的爱尔兰豪华汽车代理商。

在数次聚会后，劳伦和杰瑞展开了简短的对话，并且自他们的交谈中，发现杰瑞是一个务实派(S，感受型)和逻辑派(T，理性型)的男人。

他健谈的个性又暴露了他是一个外向型(E)。同时劳伦观察到杰瑞每晚总会在7点钟准时坐在同一个位子上；于是，她假设他是一个有计划的果断者(J)。把这4种偏向放在一起，劳伦认定杰瑞确实是一个大男人型(ESTJ)，她完美的伴侣。

在劳伦知道杰瑞参与了一项她很感兴趣的政府计划之后，她自愿拨出时间帮忙，很快她就和杰瑞一起紧密地工作了。他们变成了朋友，不久后他们的友情萌生成爱情，然后他们就结婚了。

如何与一个大男人型情人约会？

请求你的大男人型给你建议或保护。告诉他一个关于你那多管闲事的邻居或是那只不停吠叫的狗的问题；或是请求他帮助你解决你生意上的困扰、房屋装潢的问题或教育孩子的两难窘境。

只要你的请求是在他的能力范围内，大男人型会很愿意帮忙，同时展现他到底有多么的厉害和成功。大部分的机会中，这个大男人型确实很有影响力，同时也是一个可以依靠的肩膀。

一旦大男人型提供了建议或支持，你可以从一个较私人的角度去认识他，然后开始发展一段浪漫的恋情。

*约会锦囊：让交谈保持务实。

大男人型是务实派的沟通者。他们所说的就是他们所想的，同时，也期待你以相同的方式回报。若你是一个强烈的直觉型，请尝试将你的冥想和漫游减到最小的程度。大男人型对深奥的理论或幻想没有多大耐心；他们喜欢谈论他们此时此刻可以感受到的事物。谈谈大男人型的工作(有些人批评他们为工作狂，因为他们花了太多时间在工作上)或关于他在运动、娱乐、商场、政治、宗教或家庭生活上的兴趣。只要聊天的话题围绕着日常生活的现实面，大男人型就会津津乐道且让你也对此感兴趣起来。

如何赢得大男人型情人的爱？

让大男人型决定约会的地点和约会中要做的事，然后参与其中。永远记得大男人型喜欢计划事情并且掌控所有事情，包括他们的约会行程。

大男人型喜欢那些可以说出自己心声的伴侣。但是，大男人型通常要下最后定论，同时是非常有说服力的。这样的情形尤其会发生在男性大男人型身上—他们是所有男性恋爱类型中最具男性魅力的。

*恋爱锦囊：实际的生活态度。

虽然大男人型会用他们自己的方式表达关心，但他们并不是那种你称做“敏感”或过度善感的人。他们的同情心和怜悯仅限于在他们相信是正确、忠贞、逻辑和真实的事情上。

不要尝试对大男人型说些甜蜜的无聊话语，像是“宝贝甜心，你是我的小可爱”，这样并不能赢得他的心。若你表现出感情泛滥或多愁善感，很有可能会得到相反的回应。

一个比较好的方式是通过具体的方法来展现你的关心。

为你的大男人型准备一顿丰盛的餐点并共进晚餐，以及与你的大男人型和他的众多朋友饮酒作乐，一边挑起有关当日重要新闻和花边消息的话题，并且花时间和另一半的家人在一起相处。

总结而言，给大男人型他们最想要的东西：一个懂得交际、能言善道的伴侣，可以和他分享每天发生的事情，并且可谈论那些会影响他所爱的家人及朋友的真实问题。

若可以接受他们实际的言谈和直言不讳的态度，你会意外地发现自己爱上大男人型投射出来那个保护的、坚强的形象。

唐娜是一个36岁的人事经理，她的朋友们曾经警告过她关于那个创业投资家威斯，是一个“很大男人主义”的男人。

“性别歧视，自以为是和盛气凌人”是唐娜的朋友用来形容威斯比较温和的话。就第一眼的印象，这些话听起来似乎都没错。威斯拥有强悍粗犷的外表，那是他在商场上不断往上爬升的过程中磨练出来的。

威斯有一些典型男性的习惯和喜好。他喜欢抽烟斗、喝啤酒和每周日观看足球赛。

“但我知道除了他外在的人格和我朋友认为的样子，他还有一些更复杂的倾向。”唐娜回忆道，“我很好奇，威斯到底是一个怎么样的人，于是我请一位认识我们俩的朋友为我们介绍。在遇见威斯时，我和他聊了一会后，我就确定他是大男人型的人。

“根据他的恋爱类型，我知道他很重视婚姻和家庭，同时如果他遇见了他百分之百的女人，他将会是一个愿意奉献出一切的丈夫和父亲。在和他交往后，他证实了我的结论，并且变成了一个很棒的男人。

“如今威斯正在郊区为我们盖一座漂亮的房子，我们即将要一起共组生活。这是我梦想中的男人。”

如何和大男人型情人拥有美好的性关系？

有一些女性大男人型，尤其当她们的配偶是男性大男人型时，她们喜欢传统的方式的*，男人主导一切。虽然她们在公司里表现得像一头母狮子，但是在她们的恋爱生活中，这些大男人型的女人非常满足于当一个温柔驯服的伴侣。

其他的女性大男人型偏好维持她们天生的领导倾向，她们喜欢在*中扮演主控的角色，她们喜欢控制所有事情，性也不例外。

男性大男人型倾向于对他们的伴侣很体贴，他们会为了在*上讨好他们的伴侣而做出不寻常的举动。事实上，大部分男性大男人型会以满足女人各方面的需求为傲，而且也是一个完美的赚钱养家者、父亲和丈夫。

由于他们非常爱表现，且积极于满足他们的伴侣，有一些大男人型的男人也许不能完全放松享受全然忘情的*。如果你的大男人型情人正发生这样的状况，你可以试试下面的*锦囊：

一段真正的性关系。

作为*的前奏，准备30分钟的时间为彼此接触、爱抚和用精油或乳液按摩，轮流感受肉体的快乐。

这里有一个规则：那个接受肉体愉悦的人必须安静地躺着，不能说话或移动。他惟一可以说话的时候是在对方下指令的时候：告诉另一个人他喜欢如何被触摸—快一点儿、慢一点儿、用力一点儿、温柔一点儿之类的话。

这一点很重要。不管你那爱说话的大男人型，如何用无关紧要的交谈来分散你的注意力，你要坚持让他安静地躺着，彻彻底底去体验正对他做的事。而当他爱抚你时，你也要一样对待他。

*是一种双向的沟通，同时包含了施与受。两人多加练习，将可以大大改进你们的性生活，并且让你们两人更加亲近。

如何和大男人型情人拥有一段长久的关系？

也许没有其他恋爱类型可以像大男人型这般作为婚姻传承的模范。大男人型是高明的实际事务沟通者，同时也是安全和组织的拥护者，他们是一段“传统”婚姻的最佳选择。因为在“传统”的婚姻里，责任、忠诚和任务代表一切；丈夫和妻子结合在一起，保护和爱惜彼此。

大男人型的男人倾向是恋爱类型中最男性化的—也许有人会说是威武。除此之外，有些大男人型男人的举止会让社会上其他人觉得粗暴易怒，或有性别歧视。

但除了他们有可能犯的错误，大男人型男人通常被评为不错的配偶，他们的妻子大部分也都相当满意对方。

虽然有些女人渴望一个比较有弹性和敏感的男人，期待被一个较体贴的男人保护和照顾；但某些女人仍然喜欢一个会把她们当淑女看待的“古老派”大男人型男人，一个会为她们开车门、送花、带给她们安全感的男人。

虽然男性大男人型通常是被主流社会所接受的，女性大男人型却倾向于比其他恋爱类型更加特立独行，因为她们具有“男性化”的作风。由于她们可以掌控事情，同时果断顽固，有些男人(和女人)也许会不公平地把她们形容成“苛刻”、“讨厌”或是“男人婆”。

纵然如此，一个聪明的男人会懂得尊重女性大男人型的强项和能力，他们会发现女性大男人型是一个很好的终生伴侣。事实上，研究指出那些娶了女性大男人型的人，在婚姻满意度评比中名列前矛。

其他的研究结果指出男性大男人型倾向于多次结婚(仅次于喜欢结婚的女性冒险家型)，同时，女性大男人型也倾向于拥有比平均数高的婚姻次数。

大男人型的再婚率很高，因为他们喜欢结婚；事实上，他们无法忍受不结婚。如果他们很早婚，而后如果他们离了婚或丧偶，他们立即又会再回到婚姻之中。他们并不滥交，只是和他们所有的情人都成了家。

当你对他证明你的忠诚度，你将发现大男人型会以绝对的忠贞回报你，并且会在灾难发生时，仍然在你身边支持你。如果你想要拥有一个可以给你经济上的安全感，以及一个强壮肩膀的男人，甚至想要拥有一个可以照顾你的家居生活、同时又和你旗鼓相当的人，大男人型会是最佳的选择。

The Guardian

As an ESTJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.

ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs. They expect the same of others, and have no patience or understanding of individuals who do not value these systems. They value competence and efficiency, and like to see quick results for their efforts.

ESTJs are take-charge people. They have such a clear vision of the way that things should be, that they naturally step into leadership roles. They are self-confident and aggressive. They are extremely talented at devising systems and plans for action, and at being able to see what steps need to be taken to complete a specific task. They can sometimes be very demanding and critical, because they have such strongly held beliefs, and are likely to express themselves without reserve if they feel someone isn't meeting their standards. But at least their expressions can be taken at face-value, because the ESTJ is extremely straight-forward and honest.

The ESTJ is usually a model citizen, and pillar of the community. He or she takes their commitments seriously, and follows their own standards of "good citizenship" to the letter. ESTJ enjoys interacting with people, and likes to have fun. ESTJs can be very boisterous and fun at social events, especially activities which are focused on the family, community, or work.

The ESTJ needs to watch out for the tendency to be too rigid, and to become overly detail-oriented. Since they put a lot of weight in their own beliefs, it's important that they remember to value other people's input and opinions. If they neglect their Feeling side, they may have a problem with fulfilling other's needs for intimacy, and may unknowingly hurt people's feelings by applying logic and reason to situations which demand more emotional sensitivity.

When bogged down by stress, an ESTJ often feels isolated from others. They feel as if they are misunderstood and undervalued, and that their efforts are taken for granted. Although normally the ESTJ is very verbal and doesn't have any problem expressing themself, when under stress they have a hard time putting their feelings into words and communicating them to others.

ESTJs value security and social order above all else, and feel obligated to do all that they can to enhance and promote these goals. They will mow the lawn, vote, join the PTA, attend home owners association meetings, and generally do anything that they can to promote personal and social security.

The ESTJ puts forth a lot of effort in almost everything that they do. They will do everything that they think should be done in their job, marriage, and community with a good amount of energy. He or she is conscientious, practical, realistic, and dependable. While the ESTJ will dutifully do everything that is important to work towards a particular cause or goal, they might not naturally see or value the importance of goals which are outside of their practical scope. However, if the ESTJ is able to see the relevance of such goals to practical concerns, you can bet that they'll put every effort into understanding them and incorporating them into their quest for clarity and security.

What does Success mean to an ESTJ?

People with the ESTJ personality type have a high value for social order and structure. Throughout his or her life, the ESTJ develops a set of judgement standards that they use to order events and impressions that exist in the world. These standards are essentially social principles. The ESTJ believes very strongly in their principles, and strongly disapproves of any violation. The ESTJ believes that their principles define appropriate behavior and attitudes, and therefore should be followed unconditionally. Just as they naturally create rules, and are therefore natural leaders, ESTJs also believe in following existing social rules. They often lead, but can follow easily if they trust the authority of the system they're following. The ESTJ can be quite harsh about the violation of a principle. It is more important to the ESTJ that the principle is honored than that they consider the position or feelings of the individual who transgressed against the principle. Their harshness of manner may damage personal relationships, until the ESTJ incorporates standards for behavior within personal relationships into their system of social rules. The ESTJ truly enjoys being around other people, and wants to promote traditional relationships. An ESTJ may feel successful if they are able to live their lives within their defined system of principles, but their true and lasting success will come from the ability to create and sustain good and lasting principles, and thus to address all situations in their life adequately and consistently.

Allowing Your ESTJ Strengths to Flourish

As an ESTJ, you have gifts that are specific to your personality type that aren't natural strengths for other types. By recognizing your special gifts and encouraging their growth and development, you will more readily see your place in the world, and be more content with your role.

Potential Problem Areas

With any gift of strength, there is an associated weakness. Without "bad", there would be no "good". Without "difficult", there would be no "easy". We value our strengths, but we often curse and ignore our weaknesses. To grow as a person and get what we want out of life, we must not only capitalize upon our strengths, but also face our weaknesses and deal with them. That means taking a hard look at our personality type's potential problem areas.

Most of the weaker characteristics that are found in ESTJs are due to Extraverted Thinking taking over the personality to the extent that other functions work only to serve Extraverted Thinking's agenda. In such cases, an ESTJ may show some or all of the following weaknesses in varying degrees:

Explanation of Problems

Nearly all of the problematic characteristics described above can be attributed to the common problem of Extraverted Thinking overtaking the ESTJ personality to the point that all other personality functions exist only to serve Thinking's needs. A healthy and successful personality needs to have a good balance between its dominant and auxiliary functions. For an ESTJ, dominant Extraverted Thinking needs to be well-supported by the auxiliary Introverted Sensing function. If Introverted Sensing exists only to support the agenda of Extraverted Thinking, then neither function is living up to its potential, and the subject ESTJ is not reaching their potential in their job or their personal relationships.

In the case where auxilary Sensing is underused, the ESTJ will live entirely within the boundaries of their existing principles. They will hold up their own set of principles as an inalienable representation of the Right Thing To Do, and apply everything they encounter in life to this principle system. If they perceive behavior that does not fit into their set of principles, they will ruthlessly judge it and shut down any alternative view of the violation. In being so tied to their Extraverted Thinking process, they lose the ability to truly consider incoming information, and therefore lose the ability to synergize with other people and solve problems in an effective way. Perhaps most importantly, the ESTJ loses the ability to connect with their own Self. They become out of touch with their own personal needs, and dissociated from their core Self. The net effect of these happenings is an ESTJ leader who expects absolute adherence to his or her demands; who lacks the ability to see long-range implications associated with these demands; who is unwilling to consider alternate solutions or plans; and who is dissociated from any personal priorities or value system. Such a leader is unlikely to be effective and successful in their job or personal life, although are likely unaware of the reasons for their problems.

It is quite common for people to allow their dominant function to overrule their personality. In the case of the Extraverted Thinker, allowing Thinking to dominate without counter-balance can have great impact on the social interactions of the ESTJ. Female ESTJs may be viewed as overbearing, controlling, or masculine, and may not be as readily accepted by social standards. This may cause low self- esteem in the female ESTJ. Male ESTJs are somewhat worse off, because social stereotypes may encourage them that they are entitled to be domineering. They may have no interest in growing beyond their limited outlook.

Extraverted Thinking is a personality function that creates structure by identifying and adhering to logical principles. It is a social form of judgement, in that it is defined by the external world, rather than by an inner sense of right and wrong. The true strength of Extraverted Thinking is its highly ethical nature. It is not swayed by individual appeals -- it believes wholeheartedly in the merit of the Principle. If the Principle exists, then it should be followed. Once the Extraverted Thinking type has identified the principle, it is their business to enforce that principle. The Extraverted Thinker does not expect anything back for living by that principle. It expects that the principle should be respected without condition. In other words, the ESTJ believes that you should do what's right because it is what's right, rather than doing what's right because you want something in return. In this ideal sense, Extraverted Thinking judgement is the cornerstone of laws and legal systems. Extraverted Thinking has much to offer our society, in its purety of intention.

Introverted Sensing, the auxiliary function of the ESTJ, is the means of observing data and storing it for future reference. Introverted Sensing is capable of considering and storing huge amounts of data. When this data is fed into the dominant Thinking function, the personality uses real data to form principles and enforce structure upon the world. In the case where the ESTJ has an overly-dominant Thinking function, the importance of the auxilliary Sensing function is reduced. Data cannot be seen outside of its context within a principle. The ESTJ will not be able to see beyond the fact that a principle has been violated. They will be unable to see the data objectively.

Solutions

An ESTJ who is interested in coming into his or her own potential should consciously try to suspend judgement until all of the facts are known. An effective ESTJ is not afraid to redefine principles when information cannot be understood or dealt with effectively within their known systems. Practicing this sort of behavior will help auxilary Introverted Sensation to flourish, and thereby allow the entire personality to become a more effective and positive force.

For example, an ESTJ friend recently told me that he was convinced that his mother's cleaning lady was a con-artist. I asked him why he thought so, and he said "because she takes money and does absolutely nothing." Apparently the house was not being cleaned to his standards. He believed that the cleaning lady was paid to do a certain job, and he expected that it would be completed to a certain standard for a certain fee. This was his principle. She violated that principle by not doing the job well enough. The fact that she took money for a job that she didn't do was nothing less than criminal behavior to him. When I asked him if the cleaning lady had been given directions on what specifically to clean, he said he didn't know, but that she was a cleaning lady so she should know what to do (another principle.) We soon discovered that the cleaning lady was paid about half the going rate for her job. When I explored this situation a bit futher (out of concern for my friend's mother) I discovered that the cleaning lady had almost no guidance on what to clean, but that she was busy the entire time that she hired, and that she was perhaps not the cleanest of cleaning ladies. When she was given more direction, she performed to a better standard. My assertion that the cleaning lady kept busy the whole time that she was hired was flatly rejected by my ESTJ friend. He would not consider that piece of information, nor would he consider the fact that she was paid much less than the standard rate for cleaning ladies. Within his principle system, she was a con-artist, and he did not consider data that might offer an alternate explanation.

Rather than simply rejecting the new information that became available, my ESTJ friend could have altered his principles slightly to allow for differences in personal capabilities and results amongst individuals, and to allow for the fact that the cleaning lady getting a lower rate of pay did offset the lower quality of service at some level. Using the new data (made available by Introverted Sensing) to tweak and redefine his principles would allow him to create a more effective system of principles that would be better able to handle similar future challenges.

In general, developing Introverted Sensing is the ESTJ's key to optimizing the effectiveness and resiliency of their principles. It will also improve their general balance of character, and therefore open the door to growth within other aspects of their psyche.

Living Happily in our World as an ESTJ

Some ESTJs have difficulty fitting into our society. Their problems are often associated with being controlling of others, having unreasonable expectations for others' behaviors, failing to consider others' needs and ideas, and generally coming across too strongly. These issues stem primarily from the common ESTJ habit of using Extraverted Thinking in a mode in which it quickly and automatically applies existing principles against the external world, rather than taking the time to weigh their inner data against their principles for behavior. ESTJs need to be able to use their rich store of internal data to feed their principles. Insisting on adherence to steadfast principles while ignoring factual information is a recipe for trouble, such as we have seen with various dictatorships throughout history. In order to flourish in a healthy way, the ESTJ has to recognize the importance of their inner data stores, and needs to use all available data to form good principles. In order to accomplish this, the ESTJ needs to recognize the importance of Introversion, and develop the use of their highest introverted function, Introverted Sensing.

Specific suggestions:

• Try to gather all available facts before you pass judgement. Ask questions if necessary. Make sure that you are understanding the idea that is being communicated. After you understand the idea, figure out how it fits into your principle system.
• Be willing to create new principles and change existing principles based on new facts.
• If you become angry, walk away. When you allow anger to control your actions, you lose, and quite possibly somebody else loses too. After you have dealt with your anger and calmed down, continue with what you were doing.
• Try to identify the personality type of everyone that you encounter frequently in your life. Remember that Intuitives sometimes speak in an indirect, wandering way. Try to have patience with this, and remember that everyone has something to offer.
• Remember that you have the most to learn from those people who are very different from you. They have something to offer you, no matter how difficult it may be for you to see it at first.

Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve ESTJ Success

1. Feed Your Strengths! You have been given the great ability to create logical, ethical principles that transcend personal experience. Allow these principles to be as good as they can be by creating them with consideration for all available data.
2. Face Your Weaknesses! See your weaknesses for what they are, and seek to overcome them. Especially, resist the tendency to judge too quickly, and remember the importance of considering other people's feelings.
3. Talk Through the Facts or write them down. You need to step through the facts in order to define good principles to live by. Verbalizing them or putting them down on paper may be a valuable tool for you.
4. Take in Everything. Don't dismiss ideas prematurely because you think you already know the answer. Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.
5. When You Get Angry, You Lose. Your passion for your principles is admirable, but becomes destructive when you fall into the "Anger Trap." Remember that Anger is destructive to personal relationships, and can be extremely hurtful to others. Work through your anger before you unleash it upon others. Disagreements and disappointments can only be handled effectively in a non-personal and dispassionate manner.
6. Be Yourself in Relationships Don't expect yourself to be a "touchy-feely" or "warm fuzzy" person. Realize that your most ardent bonds start with the head, rather than the heart. You expect your actions to speak for themselves to your loved ones. This may not be enough for some. Be aware of other's emotional needs, and express your genuine love and respect for them in terms that are real to YOU. Be yourself.
7. Be Accountable for Yourself. Don't blame the problems in your life on other people. Look inwardly for solutions. No one has more control over your life than you have.
8. Be Humble. Judge yourself at least as harshly as you judge others.
9. Resist the Urge to Control Others. You can't force others to adhere to your ways of thinking. You may think that you know what's best for others, but you really only know how they can best act according to your ideas of what is right. Just as you are entitled to live as you see fit, so are they. Instead of judging and controlling others, focus on using your judgement to create better impartial principles.
10. Spend Some Time Alone. Encourage the development of your introverted side. You'll find many tangible benefits to becoming a more well-rounded person.